Looking for an Ostrich Egg?

Here, have a protein pill....the size of a coconut.

Perhaps you are preparing egg drop soup today? Or perhaps flan, which would require eight large eggs or just one ostrich egg?

They can be found lurking ominously behind the watermelons in aisle one! And look, Mom--they're local!

Mix and match, buy as few or as many as you need!

The posse was hanging out in Whole Foods, Cupertino. It is the kind of thing nerdy, single female hoodlums do in Silicon Valley, at least on this Monday evening. We had just been to a class called "Eating without Cooking," which for me was too complicated since I don't like chopping or rinsing either.

Prior to that, we chowed at Café Gratitude, home of pie slices at $8 a slice.

Salad that accompanies the "I am Cheerful" veggie burger, ordered jeeringly (cum private wink to the girl ganstas) by R-Dawg.

"I am Whole" bowl. Only S-Rock can order a menu item like "I am Thriving," with a genuine smile. No, that is not snake skin but sea kelp.

Eggs and more eggs. Three single women, on the prowl...coincidence?

Afterwards, S-Rock strutted over to the produce section in search of bok-choy when she spotted loose eggs in the corner of the produce section. I happened to be snooping for bargain blueberries close by.

"Eggs?" I exclaimed. What were eggs doing over there? I wondered. Nah, those are onions and bulbs of garlic, S-Rock, honey.

We got closer.

Yes, they are eggs. Woah!! That thing is huge!

That thing is moving!

Okay, well not quite, but it looked like a webbed foot was going to explode through the shell at any moment. Suddenly we were in an X-Files episode, set in a quiet, upper-middle class Silicon Valley suburb.

Good thing Ravenna was off in hinterland, in the company of corn chips and pretzels. That chick would have Passed. Out.