5 Ave

Louis Vuitton

Even though I favor grunge-wear, I enjoy seeing high-fashion. So Maura, who has a designer's eye, and I headed up Madison and Fifth avenues after lunch on Saturday.

But the experience was a let-down. Everyone was dressed as if going to a carnival: in T-shirts, shorts, sneakers and flip-flops...and many were carrying cameras. (Including me! But I was wearing a tank top with sequins!) And the stores were...well, not exactly inviting. Not because they had snooty vibes but because we could not get past the cosmetics' counters without getting accosted!

We entered Bendel's and were promptly ambushed. Seconds later, Maura had creams on her face, and was being told by an ebullient saleswoman that the all-natural products she had on--which were making her wrinkles disappear and her lips get plump--were available for only $300.

When at last we made it upstairs, we discovered that there were no clothes anywhere. Sections of floor were closed off for renovation. What? No clothes at Henri Bendel's?!

We were now deep into the store's accessories' section. But Bendel's has only one set of exit doors, and they are located beyond the dense makeup counters and perfume sprayers we'd managed to escape earlier.

Well, we made it out alive without hurting anyone. The other store we went to (and quickly exited) was Bergdorf's. It was too overwhelming.

That said, Fifth Avenue had a few noteworthy storefronts. Besides Louis Vuitton, there was Christian Dior:

Christian Dior scaffolding says "Closed for renovations. Opening December 2010. Visit our boutique on Madison..."

(Apparently Christian Dior will provide car service to their boutique to its customers. Nice.)

And then, in a completely different class of its own, there was this:

Do they look like they love their jobs or what. Blond bookends at Abercrombie. Where else?

When I told Carline, a New Yorker, about the these guys at Abercrombie, she said, "You mean they had shirts on?"